Consent to Treatment
by BluAlbino
Summary: Percival Cox, mental patient, is famous for driving psychologists crazy. His new shrink, Dr. Dorian, has no idea what he’s getting himself into. JDox AU
1. Chapter 1

It was Percival Cox's eighth year in Sacred Hands.

He was a blemish on the record of an otherwise spotless mental hospital, famous for their five-year treatment. Not that it was ever specifically said that he would be out in five years, but nearly all of the Temporary patients before him had.

Cox was very satisfied with his place in life.

Until John Dorian.

* * *

"Blue." Perry Cox announced, glaring at his Jell-O, as if he expected a full apology from it for being just. So. Damn. Blue.

"Yes blue," replied Carla, the one nurse with any sort of tolerance towards Cox's moods. "And I know that deep down you honestly don't give a damn about what color your Jell-O is, so why don't you go away, eat the Jell-O, then come back later when you want to tell me what's really wrong with you."

"Nothing's wrong." Cox said, staring down the Latina nurse. He crossed his arms over his muscled chest, determined to look intimidating even if he was wearing a crazy's uniform and holding a plastic cup of absurdly blue gelatin. "I just don't like blue."

Carla snorted through her nose at him, then dismissed him by moving on to the person in line behind him. Scowling, he marched off to eat his disgusting dessert in good company. Well, in decent company at least. Cox sat at a school-cafeteria-style table with three of the long-timers.

Long-timer number one, Lurch.

Lurch was a tall, skinny and deeply disturbed man. Rumor had it that he used to hunt small animals by the hundreds and stuff them, he finally landed in the whacky shack when he started leaving them as presents for his 'lady friend'. When the police questioned him, he said they were gifts for his fiancé. She had never heard of him. No one knew his real name.

Long-timer number two, Doug.

Born with every nervous tic known to mankind, Doug interned at a normal hospital for a year, then after killing nearly every one of his patients, checked himself in.

Long-timer number three, Satan himself.

Or Kelso, if you didn't want the men in the white coats to think you were crazier then they already did. Cox had no idea what he was in for.

"B-blue again?" Doug stuttered.

"Ya think?" Cox scowled at him. Doug ducked his head down between his hands.

"I'll eat it." Lurch announced. Cox glared at him and ate a piece slowly off his spoon. His plastic spoon. No one gives crazies actual silverware.

"What the hell are you grinning about?" Cox asked, seeing the pleased expression on Kelso's face.

"Fresh meat," Kelso said, his words contrasting oddly with his grandfatherly smile. Cox turned around to see the brand new babydoc.

He was young, with over-gelled black hair and an innocent face. As with most new psychologists, he was floundering about, obviously out of his element.

Cox felt himself grin.

"Newbie!" He yelled, whistling. The new kid twitched back and forth looking for who called him. Finally his eyes settled on Cox and he skittered over.

Cox heard Kelso chuckle in the background.

"Um, hello," Newbie said, "I'm-"

"I could gave a rat's ass Joanna." Cox jumped in, cutting him off. The kid's eyes went wide. "I just wanted to warn ya, since you seem to be a little lost. The nuthouse is no place for little girls." The kid stood there for a moment, perfectly still, mouth in a little "o" of shock.

"Bambi!" Called Carla, "come here for a second." Newbie practically ran away from the long-timers, who all burst out laughing when he was gone.

"Good one, Perry," chuckled Kelso.

"Go to hell Bob."

* * *

Every evening at six o'clock it was time for one-on-one. The psychologists found people who were especially crazy and spent an hour trying to get them to open up, resulting in many a tearful confession.

This was were Cox was famous.

Over eight years Perry was personally responsible for the retiring of thirteen psychologists, and uncountable switching offs. He prided himself in being able to scare them off in less then a month.

Cox considered going for a new record when he found out his next session was with the Newbie.

* * *

"Uh, you're Percival Cox?" Squeaked Newbie when he walked in.

"Yeah, what's it to ya, Libby?" Newbie flinched.

"Y'know, I think we got off on the wrong foot earlier in the cafeteria." He said. "My name is John Dorian, but you can call me Dr D. Or just JD if you want." He gave Cox what was probably meant to be an endearing smile.

This was gonna be too easy.

"Listen, Jennifer, we didn't get off on the wrong foot, you did not offend me in some convoluted way that only a crazy person would understand, and this is not your chance to make up for it. I don't like you. End of story." Once again JD was dumbstruck my Cox's statement. But only for a second.

"Why?" He asked. It sounded like it had just popped out of his mouth, no conscious thought involved.

"I don't like psychologists." Cox scowled at him. Why the hell did he even answer?

"Well, you're in kind of a bad place then." JD blurted, then flinched again.

"What, didja think I'm just in here on my own time for shits and giggles? I'd love to go, Clarisse, but that isn't exactly an option right now." He gave Newbie his worst homicidal stare, flipped the coffee table over, and stormed out.

If it kept going like this, he'd have the guy gone in a week.

* * *

The doctors at Sacred Hands believed in separating the misbehaving from those actively trying to get better. Flipping tables, much like in prison, got you three days in a locked room.

* * *

Solitary was a breeze when you knew how to handle it. And seeing as Cox ended up in solitary at least once a month, he knew how to handle it.

Soon as Cox was alone, in a normal room this time instead of a padded cell, he immediately set up for the long haul. Step one; vent.

Cox crossed the room in less than two steps and upended the small cot he was supposed to sleep on. Grabbing the metal legs of it, Cox slammed it into the wall hard enough to pop apart part of the metal frame inside of it. One of the other Solitaries screamed in response to the crash it made.

They really should have put him in a padded cell.

Step two; Get comfortable.

With his bed now ruined, Cox leaned against the wall, sliding down it until he was in a sitting position, the blanket off of the cot near his feet. He sighed.

Step three; sleep.

He leaned against that wall, unmoving, waiting for sleep to claim him. The ideal would be to wake up in three days time, when they opened the door to let him out.

* * *

Perry heard the whoosh of the bottle as it flew over his head. A second later it shattered on the wall, leaving glittering pieces of glass and drops of whiskey on the carpet.

He looked over his shoulder and there he was. But he couldn't be, he was dead.

"Boy." The dead but not dead man said.

Perry looked down at himself and he wasn't a tall man anymore, he was just a skinny little Irish kid an the dead man was getting up and saying his name and walking over to him oh god he was walking straight towards him-

* * *

"No da-" Cox said as he jolted awake. One look at his surroundings reminded him that he wasn't a skinny Irish kid in a decrepit old house, but a muscled Irish nutjob in a mental hospital. He opened and closed his hands, trying to flex away the shakes that had suddenly appeared in them.

* * *

Seventy-two long hours later, Cox was released from solitary confinement. Just in time to be spirited off to group therapy. Joy.

Five Long-Timers; Lurch, Doug, Kelso, Sweaty-Teddy and Korman the Hypochondriac, sat with two Temporaries; a redheaded guy named Keith and Todd the Sex Addict, in a loose circle. At the head of the circle, next to an empty chair that he assumed was his, sat Dr Maddox, the boss shrink for this floor.

"Glad you could join us, Perry!" She said perkily, indicating the empty seat for him to sit on. Cox scowled at her, moving his chair away before he sat on it. Maddox frowned, but didn't protest.

"D-d-dr. M?" Doug said, raising his hand.

"Yes, Doug?"

"Who-o're they?" Doug pointed at two men leaning against a wall. One Cox already knew.

"They're our two newest Doctors. Dr Dorian, a psychologist," Newbie waved tentatively. "And our new neurosurgeon, Dr Turk." The bald black guy nodded. There was a quiet chorus of "hi Dr Dorian. Hi Dr Turk," that Cox was not a part of.

"Why don't you two introduce yourselves?" Maddox said. It sounded like a simple request, but Cox knew what would happen if either of the doctors refused.

"Hey, I'm Doctor Turk. But you can just call me Turk." Cox rolled his eyes at the extremely original introduction. Baldy didn't notice. "Uh, when I'm not working I'm usually reading medical journals or playing basketball." He mimed shooting an invisible ball at an imaginary hoop. The room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Baldy was overcome by the awkwardness and stepped back.

"Hi everybody!" Newbie sad, waving. Cox's scowl deepened. "I'm Dr. Dorian, but I want us all to be friends, so call me JD. Or J-Dizzle." Newbie laughed at his own bad joke. Keith attempted a smile, but everyone else just stared at him.

"Anyway…" Newbie continued, blushing now. " Really do want all of us to be friends, and I look forward to getting to know all of you."

Maddox smiled and applauded politely, and the doctors left. "They seem nice." She announced, looking around the circle for any signs of agreement.

There were none.

* * *

**Should I continue? Tell me what you think**


	2. Chapter 2

For some odd reason, Dorian was still Cox's personal psychologist.

* * *

Cox slammed the door open upon beginning his second visit with Newbie. This method usually put shrinks on their toes right away, made them jumpy and nervous, just the way Cox liked 'em.

Only it didn't quite work on Newbie. Despite the ear-shattering bang, he was just sitting in his chair, staring off into space.

"Hey! Shirley!" Cox said, waving a hand in front of Dorian's face. "Wake up." Newbie started.

"Huh?" He looked around. "Oh, Mr. Cox! Sorry, just kinda off in my head for a second-"

"Are you stoned?" Cox demanded, arms crossed over his chest.

"Wha? No!" Newbie spluttered, his expression shocked. Cox rolled his eyes in a disbelieving way and flopped down on the couch. "Really, I just-"

"Do I care?" Cox interrupted. Newbie muttered something under his breath. "What was that?"

"Nothing." Dorian dipped his head to scribble out a note on his clipboard. There was an awkward pause, only interrupted by the scratch of pen on paper. "So, Mr. Cox, what do you want to talk about?"

"Darla, if you expect me to lay on this couch and vomit out my feelings, then you really are stoned." More notes. "And if you write one more damn word I will feed you that clipboard." The scribbling stopped.

"Okay, you don't have to talk about your feelings if you don't want to." Newbie squeaked, still probably imagining Cox shoving the plastic slab down his throat. "How about… food?"

"Food?" Cox raised an eyebrow.

"I'm hungry," Newbie said apologetically. "Haven't eaten lunch yet." Cox rolled his eyes again. "What's good around here?"

Cox snorted. "Newbie, this is a nuthouse. As with all government funded institutions, the food is te-herrible." Cox saw Newbie's hand twitch, as though he wanted to write a note about that. Instead he nodded.

"How about outside food? Anything good around here?" He asked conversationally, but Cox had seen shrinks pull this trick before. Get the crazy to talk about something pointless and establish a relationship.

"Well, Angela, there's this bar about a mile west of here that has sinfully good chicken wings, but I don't think you'd want to go there." He could almost hear Newbie's stomach rumbling at the mention of food.

"Why not?" Dorian was definitely getting invested in the conversation, losing his detached psychologist tone.

"They wouldn't even let you in the door, Sheila." Cox said, trying not to laugh.

"They will too!" Newbie said, his voice now high pitched and extremely involved. Cox was exerting all his willpower not to start laughing right there.

"I doubt it."

"What's the name of this bar?" Newbie asked, his jaw set at a stubborn angle.

"The Balance Beam." Newbie nodded.

* * *

At the end of their session, Newbie left in a hurry, already in the hallway before Cox stood up.

"Dude, where the hell are you going?" Cox heard Baldy ask from the hall.

"C'mon brown bear!" Newbie said. "We're gong to lunch!"

Cox sat up on the couch, grinning. Man shrinks were gullible.

* * *

"You sent me to a gay bar." Newbie accused.

"I don't like him." Lurch said.

Cox was grinning again. This rookie kept making mistake after mistake. And trying to talk to him during lunch, with all the other crazies around him, was the biggest one yet.

"I told you they wouldn't let you in. That bar is for grown men only." Newbie scowled at him. At least Cox guessed it was a scowl, it looked more like a pout with those big, soft lips of his. Why was he thinking about Newbie's lips?

"Don't worry about it, Sport." Kelso said, looking about as evil as Santa Claus. That's how he reeled people in. He let them think he was just a harmless old man, and then…

"Thanks Mr. Kelso." Newbie said, obviously buying it. Cox quickly weighed his hatred of Kelso against how much he wanted to torture Dorian.

He decided not to warn Newbie.

* * *

Perry was back in that house again. The not-so-dead-man was there. So was his little sister.

Paige huddled in the corner, sobbing and shaking. Like in so many other dreams, Perry wrapped his arms around her, letting the bottles break in his back instead of hers.

The dreams hurt less when he wasn't alone.

* * *

"And I spent so much time at the hospital, most of the doctors and nurses have restraining orders against me. Apparently it's too much to ask to call their home phone numbers if I think I'm getting a rash." Korman was explaining, for the hundredth time at least, why he was in the wacky shack.

During group, Maddox had asked everyone why they thought they were in there. Sending Doug stuttering into a list of all the creative accidental ways to kill people (Cox took a few mental notes), Lurch adopted a German accent and told everyone that he had post-traumatic-stress-disorder, and Korman went on his hypochondriac rant.

"What about you, Perry?" He raised an eyebrow at Maddox.

"Why doncha just go ahead and pick someone else to bother."

"Perry…" She said, her perky tone going south.

"Fine." He said in the snarkiest way possible. "I'm here in the nuthouse because I am certifiably insane. D'ya know how I know? Because we all are. Everyone here is nuts, and I don't plan on staying P.C. for their sake. So why don't you take your 'treatment' and blow it out your ass." Maddox's mouth dropped open. Along with everyone else's.

Including Newbie, who Cox just noticed was standing just outside of the circle watching all of this.

Shit. They were going to have to talk about this, weren't they.

* * *

"Why are you here? Really." The first question Newbie asked him after he flopped onto the leather couch.

"You're on dangerous ground now, Debbie."

"And why do you keep calling me girl's names?" Cox huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Because, Angela, I honestly thought you were a girl. Though now I don't really know why, considering that grapefruit in your windpipe." Newbie placed a hand over his Adam's apple.

"Uncool." He muttered. Cox rolled his eyes.

"Why the hell are you here then, Newbie?" There was a silence, and Cox moved from his reclining position to get a look at the shrink. Dorian wasn't ignoring the question, or looking pissed off at him. He was staring at a random point on the ceiling, frowning in concentration. Light from the window was hitting him in just the right way to make him look like a living statue.

Cox didn't know when he started noticing details like this. Maybe he was going crazier.

"I guess…" Newbie sighed, still staring off into space. "Because of my mom."

Cox raised an eyebrow sarcastically, but didn't reply.

"She's a drunk. Since I was little, I sorta thought that maybe, if I was smart enough, I could make her better. Now I know I can't change her, but it turns out I love this job anyway." He gave Cox a sad smile.

He had no idea how to reply to that, so he just opened his mouth and let something come out.

"Dear god, Melinda. Are you trying to make me puke?"


	3. Chapter 3

Lurch was one of the most interesting people Cox had ever met. Aside from his obsession with taxidermy and his odd way of switching accents mid-conversation, he had some pretty random habits.

Cox's favorite was the way Lurch latched on to people.

If the tall nut job was having a particularly stressful day, he would pick one random person and just mess with them as often as possible. Take last month, when the nurse who handed out the knockout pills around lights-out apparently looked at him funny.

For about a week, she kept mysteriously losing small objects. Pens disappeared as soon as she set them down, paperwork would magically vacate her desk when she wasn't in the room, and she eventually bolted the telephone to the wall after it had to be replaced a few times. Also, coincidentally, at the same time one bright red stapler seemed to follow her around, often replacing missing objects, until the nurse decided that Sacred Hands was not a good place for her mental health.

Their new pill-nurse was much nicer.

* * *

Cox found Lurch leaning against a wall in the hallway, not-so-subtly glaring at Newbie. Newbie was looking back at him like a frightened rabbit. Or possibly a deer, but moving.

"Wha'cha doin' there, Lurch?" Cox asked.

"Planning." He didn't look away from Dorian. That was never a good sign.

* * *

The next time Cox had one of his sessions with Newbie, the shrink looked tired, flustered, frustrated, and more tired.

"Someone missed their beauty sleep," Cox said, resting on the couch with his fingers laced behind his head.

"Yeah." Newbie said, stifling a yawn. "I think the alarm-clock on my cell phone is broken. It went off at least four times last night, and it kept turning itself back on after I turned it off. At around three AM I just took the battery out of it."

Cox had to hand it to Lurch. The man was a good planner

* * *

Over the next few days technology just seemed to malfunction around Newbie. Beepers went off at inappropriate times, TVs flickered and hissed, the radio went static-y whenever he went within three feet of it. Cox had no idea how Lurch could be pulling this off. Unless he had somehow magnetized Newbie, but that was crazy.

Right?

* * *

"Hey Newbie," Cox asked at their next session. The bags under Dorian's eyes prominent. "Get any gifts lately?"

"Erm…" Newbie said, his reactions stress-slowed. "Yeah, that big guy gave me this nice pen a couple days ago."

"Huh." Cox huffed. "Hand it over." Newbie raised an eyebrow, but fished the pen out of his pocket. It was nice, black and shiny with a twisty bottom and a sharp gold point. How Lurch got these sort of things in here Cox would never know.

Cox threw the pen/mindfuck device on the floor and brought a slipper-clad foot down on top of it.

"Hey!" Newbie said, waking up slightly.

"Trust me, kid. I just did you a favor."

His foot hurt.

* * *

Cox limped into the cafeteria, fully prepared for the Wrath of Lurch. He only smashed the damn pen an hour ago, but he had a feeling that the big guy already knew. He sat down at the table with his lunch, green Jell-O this time. Lurch said nothing. Doug, following their example, said nothing. Kelso wasn't there.

"Uh, wh-why isn't anyone talking?" Doug finally asked, unable to stand the silence any longer.

"No reason." Lurch said, talking to Doug but not breaking eye contact with Cox.

Yeah, he knew.

* * *

Lights out. The time when all the good little crazies went to bed.

Cox was not a good little crazy. Especially at the very unmanly hour of ten PM.

* * *

Laying in his bunk with his eyes closed, Cox saw the lights flicker out through his eyelids.

"The coast is c-clear." Doug whispered after a second. Cox opened his eyes and sat up in a flash, along with the ward's other night-owls.

"So, what'll it be tonight, fellas?" Said Korman, rubbing his hands together. Cox recently found out that he was a bit of a gambling addict as well as a hypochondriac. "Cards or dice?"

"Cards. Ante-up, Korman." The hypochondriac grinned and fished some coins out of his pocket. They were mostly pennies and dimes, and had almost no value whatsoever in Sacred Hands, but it was the principle of the matter.

Redhead Keith joined the game, betting with little swirly peppermint candies his mom brought for him the last time she visited.

So did Kevin Casey, a short guy with severe OCD. The only reason he was still in their ward was because he'd had a panic attack when they tried to move him.

"Will ya just bet already, Casey." Cox said. Kevin had just finished putting his cards in order and was currently stacking his chips, all shiny new quarters, into even columns.

"Hey, you should just be glad I'm not disinfecting these bad boys." Casey said, not looking up from his quarters.

Doug perched on a nearby bed, watching. He was a horrible poker player. His stutter increased when he bluffed.

Kelso was in his bunk, so used to the noise of late-night card games that he could sleep right through them. The others were glad, his snores covered up most of the sounds they made.

* * *

Around midnight, after winning most of Keith's peppermints, Cox crashed on his bunk. Korman walked away grumbling, pockets now empty. Casey still had all his quarters, and gave Keith back all the unsymmetrical candy he'd won.

It was a good night.

* * *

At breakfast that morning, Kelso wasn't there again. Possibly because his elderly sixth sense warned him away from the table. The tension between Cox and Lurch was slowly eating away at what was left of Doug's sanity. He was too scared to move away.

Neither of them were going to budge on this. It was a battle of wills between two very stubborn, crazy men.

It would all come down to who got the other first.

* * *

Cox found himself knocking on Newbie's door. Not something he ever imagined doing, but he wanted to see if Lurch he given him any more 'presents.' More to piss off the crazy than to help Dorian.

"Just a sec." He heard Newbie through the door. He was with someone.

Newbie opened the door slightly, then flung it wide when he saw who his visitor was.

"Mr. Cox!" He said, grinning. Cox scowled reflexively.

"Perry." Kelso said in greeting, sitting on the couch and eating a cheeseburger.

"Bobbo?" Newbie looked from him to Kelso, then back to Cox. He blushed.

"Uh…well during our sessions he asked if I could….you won't tell anyone I brought in outside food will you?" Cox just shook his head and walked away.

"What crawled up his ass and died?" Cox heard Kelso mumble through a full mouth.

And the funny thing is, Cox didn't know what. If he looked a bit closer at his motives, wich he almost never did, he would guess it was because Newbie was Kelso's shrink too, and that made him angry. Hell, Dorian probably had a lot of patients. He'd sort of forgotten that he didn't have Newbie all to himself and-

Fuck.

This is why he didn't like to think these things through.


	4. Chapter 4

Cox stormed into Dr. Maddox's office, scaring her little blonde secretary almost to the point of hysterics.

"Mr. Cox?" Maddox asked, nearly unfazed.

"Switch my shrink." He said, placing both palms on her desk and leaning directly into her personal bubble. Maddox's eyebrow rose.

"Why? I thought you were making progress with Dr. Dorian." she said, pulling a file out of a drawer.

"The guy's a moron." Cox said. Maddox flipped through the file, forehead creased.

"Really, because I think-"

"I don't give a rat's ass what you think. He's not treating you, is he?" Cox stood up to his full intimidating height and scowled. Maddox just stared him down for a second, then shook her head.

"Well I'm definitely not switching you then." Maddox put the folder back in it's drawer and met his eyes. Completely unafraid.

"What?!" Cox said, his voice slipping up an octave in irritation.

"Well if he threatens you this much, you two must be making some real progress. So you're stuck with him unless he switches off of you. And seeing as that kid adores you, I don't think that'll happen anytime soon." Maddox continued to stare at him in that exasperatingly logical way, until Cox made an incoherent noise and stormed back out of her office.

* * *

Cox stopped acknowledging Newbie when he saw him outside of one-on-one. It wasn't like he ever waved or smiled or said hi before, but now he wasn't even making eye contact.

Newbie noticed. The first few times he waved and called "hello Mr. Cox!" In his overly cheerful voice and received no answer he'd looked confused, but shrugged it off. Like it was an accident. After that he'd started getting this hurt expression on his face.

He never stopped waving though.

* * *

Cox had skipped his last three one-on-one sessions. It was easy enough, he'd just cause some sort of trouble right before six, landing himself in solitary.

Last time he'd started a food fight by dumping a cup of red Jell-O over Lurch's head. Lurch retaliated by chucking a handful of mashed potatoes that scattered when they hit Cox's head, dragging five more people into the fight. After twenty minutes of hectic, mushy warfare, Cox was carted off to his padded cell covered in potatoes, butter, mashed peas, pudding, and at least three colors of Jell-O.

He was grinning the whole time.

* * *

His nightmares came back. Oddly enough, he hadn't even realized they went away in the first place.

* * *

Cox's second day in the padded cell Carla paid him a visit. She bribed or flirted or something-ed somebody until they let her in.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She said crossing her arms and putting her weight on one leg, so the other hip jutted out. Classic bitching pose.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Cox said honestly. At this point he'd fucked up so many things that he really wasn't sure wich one she was referring to.

"Bambi!" He raised an eyebrow. "JD. He comes to me all upset because, for some reason, his patient won't even look at him and he thinks it's his fault." She tapped one foot and gave him a look that asked him what he had to say for himself.

"I'm not ignoring him." Carla snorted. "Look, the kid is annoying. He drives me crazy! So yes, maybe I don't want to talk to him all the time, so what!"

"Yeah, he annoys you so you get yourself put in here?" She gestured at the cell, grimy off white with creased padding covering the walls. "You are crazy."

"He's not the reason I'm in here." Cox said, his entire defense crumbling under Carla's arguments. Then she got one of her insightful looks on her face.

"You're avoiding him. But not because you don't like him, you like him a lot." Cox's eyebrows shot all the way up.

"Nuh uh." He said, not caring that he sounded like a third grader.

"Yes. But you can't handle getting close to people so you're pushing him away." She was practically smiling now. Honestly, Cox was so glad Carla wasn't his shrink.

Cox forced a laugh. Carla rolled her eyes at him.

"Listen you," She waggled a finger at him, making him feel like a third grader again. She was good at that. "I don't care about your crazies, but don't take them out on Bambi. Now when you get out of here at least try to explain this to him."

"Fine." Cox sighed. Carla left, and he had no doubt that she would find some way to make his life hell if he didn't listen to her.

* * *

Cox found himself standing outside Newbie's door, again, nervously eating a peppermint. He crushed it between his teeth and swallowed it before finally entering the room.

He expected Newbie to be sitting in his chair, possibly expecting him. Instead the shrink was passed out on the couch Cox normally sat on. Cox sat down in Newbie's chair and debated waking him up. He decided not to.

The only reason he didn't wake the kid up was so he didn't have to talk. Not because Newbie looked stressed out or like he needed some extra sleep or anything like that.

And Dorian did look stressed out. He had bags under his eyes and frowned in his sleep. Cox felt momentarily pissed off at Lurch, seeing as this was most likely his fault, then immediately felt like the world's biggest jackass. He knew the only thing stopping Lurch from messing with JD was him, but he'd gone and got himself locked up anyway.

Newbie shifted in his sleep, shoulder trying to find itself a more comfortable position.

"…jerk…" He mumbled. Newbie talks in his sleep? Cox unconsciously leaned forward, wanting to hear more.

"Who's a jerk?" Cox said lightly, trying to make his voice low and soothing.

"Cox," Newbie said, his sleep-frown deepening. For a split second Cox thought he'd woken Dorian up, but then the psychologist shifted and continued. "…stupid mean hot Mr. Cox."

Oh, so he was the jerk. Not surprising. And did Newbie just call him hot?

"Who's Mr. Cox?" He asked in the same voice.

"Patient. Shouldn't like him…but do. Doesn't like me though…" Newbie finally found a comfy spot and laid still on his side. And he liked him. Cox kind of hoped that Newbie meant as a friend, but it probably meant that his shrink had a crush on him. Crap.

Cox closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He didn't expect that information to make him so… happy. Shit. He had a crush on his shrink. His younger, irritating, girly-man, adorable shrink.

He sighed.

Stupid Newbie. This place was fun before he showed up.

* * *

It wasn't all that surprising that Cox left before Newbie woke up.


	5. Chapter 5

Cox checked his bed before he went to sleep, aware that Lurch had several days alone with it and a grudge. After assuring himself that it hadn't been boobytrapped or violated in any way, he slipped under the covers.

"No cards tonight?" Korman whined.

"No." Cox said, turning so he faced the wall.

"You okay, Per?" Casey asked. Cox grunted. They wisely decided to leave him alone to sleep.

He didn't sleep though.

* * *

Carla glared at him as he went through the lunch line. She handed him a cup of blue Jell-O, daring him to complain. Her gaze turned sympathetic when he didn't.

* * *

Cox's ex-wife visited him. She strutted into Sacred Hands like she owned the place, and considering her family, she just might.

"Perry." She said, half grinning. She must've gotten more botox.

"Jordan." He said, crossing his arms.

"Still crazy?" She asked, ever blunt. "'Cause I need you to get out of here now."

"Why?" He asked dryly, not bothering to remark on the 'still crazy' comment.

"I'm pregnant, and you're gonna help me raise the stupid kid." Cox's eyes widened.

"What? Jordan, who did that to you?"

"Some bellboy in Greece." Cox wondered how much money Jordan's father had to pay to keep her out of a nut house.

"Jordaroo, In cause you haven't noticed, I'm in the loony bin. I can't exactly raise a kid from in here."

"I know. That's why my father is going to get you out." Cox's jaw dropped.

"Well, gee Jordan, couldn't you have offered this, I don't know, eight years ago?"

"It wasn't fun then." Jordan said, her botox-ed grin widening. "Anycrap, you're getting out of here sometime next week."

"Don't I get any say in this?"

Jordan didn't even pretend to think about that one. "No." Then she left.

She never was one for long goodbyes.

* * *

Cox went back to his bunk, trying to figure out if he had any personal stuff that he needed to take with him. Sadly enough, there wasn't much. There was, however, an envelope on his bed. It said "Mr. Cox" on the front in block letters.

Cox sighed. He had a pretty good idea who this was from.

* * *

_Dear Mr. Cox_

_What did I do? Because I thought we were getting along during our sessions. If we weren't, you could've just come out and told me, but purposely ignoring me was rude, and hurt my feelings. But I forgive you._

_If you want to come back to therapy with me, feel free to at any time. I'd enjoy having you back._

_Sincerely,_

_Dr. Dorian_

* * *

Cox read the short note twice, his eye catching on two little details.

One; Newbie had written 'love to', then erased it and put 'enjoy' in it's place.

Two; He'd originally signed it JD.

_I'd love to have you back._

_Sincerely, JD._

It was sickening how fast his heart started beating at that.

* * *

Cox packed up, all his things fitting in one bag. The only things in there were the clothes he was wearing eight years ago; on his first day, before they gave him a uniform; the bag of candy he won from Keith a few days ago, almost empty; and Newbie's letter.

He tried to convince himself he was bringing it for future blackmail, but it didn't work.

* * *

Jordan called him last night. Well, she called Dr. Maddox, who let him talk on her phone because Jordan's family apparently did own part of Sacred Hands.

Cox was leaving tomorrow. He slept in his bunk after a marathon poker game, knowing that it might be the last time he saw any of the others in his ward. And, yeah, cheesy as it was, they were his friends.

Only Maddox knew he was leaving.

* * *

Cox figured he could at least say goodbye to Newbie. After all, today might be the last time he saw the shrink.

He didn't feel a punch to his gut at that. Definitely not.

* * *

"Sheila!" Cox barked, walking into Newbie's office.

"M-mr. Cox?" Newbie said, stretched out on the couch again. He fell off in the force of his surprise. Obviously Newbie wasn't expecting him. Cox almost grinned watching Dorian fumble about, it was almost like the doctor's first day again. Instead he flicked his nose with his thumb and crossed his arms. "What're you doing here?"

"Much as I hate to admit it, you are my shrink, Newbie. And seeing as this is the whacky shack, I'm technically required to see you at least once a month."

"But you haven't so much as looked at me for at least a week." Newbie said, standing up. Cox sat down on the couch, where Newbie had been before he fell off, and out his feet on the other end. "Is there something wrong?"

"What would be wrong, Hillary?" Cox said, glaring at him.

"Well, I know you at least a little bit, and I didn't think you'd come back unless you were dying or something." When exactly did Newbie get to know him? Stupid psychology.

"Maybe I just got a letter." Cox said snarkilly, giving Dorian a meaningful glance.

"My letter worked?" Cox rolled his eyes and huffed, but didn't deny it. JD grinned.

And he was leaving tomorrow. His gut was killing him, twisting itself into little knots.

Hell, what did he have to lose?

"So, how long have you been lusting after me, Drusilla?" He asked casually. Cox almost wished that Newbie had been drinking something at the time just to see him spit it out. He wasn't though, so Newbie made a few strangled noises and looked around for hidden cameras.

"What?" JD said when he got his breath back. "I…you…How did you find out?"

"You talk in your sleep." Cox said dryly. JD nodded while making more choking noises.

"And when was I asleep around you?" Newbie asked. Cox rolled his eyes, saying 'does it really matter?'

"Answer the question, Bethany." There was a long pause.

"A while…" JD said.

Cox's heart skipped a beat while his stomach twisted even more.

He really should mention the whole 'leaving tomorrow' thing.

"I guess you'll switch off me now." Newbie muttered, looking at his feet.

Cox really didn't have anything to lose.

"JD," he said. Newbie looked up. "Shut up." Cox grabbed Newbie by the wrist and pulled him down. Dorian had no time to argue before Cox's mouth was on his.

Not that Newbie would've argued at that point.

* * *

At the end of their, uh, session, for lack of a better word, Cox stood up to leave.

"Hey." JD said, lightly holding his arm. "Am I going to see you tomorrow?" Cox's stomach, wich had finally relaxed, flipped over.

"Yeah. Sure Newbie."


	6. Chapter 6

Jordan sent a car to pick him up at six the next morning.

Cox stood on the steps near the front of the building, nervously eyeing the parking lot, unconsciously wringing the handle of his bag. The car, not a limo but definitely expensive, pulled in front of him and he climbed in the back seat.

"So you're Perry Cox?" Asked the driver, as though he'd expected Cox to be taller, or drunker.

"You have a problem with that, or do I have to answer to a goddamn chauffeur now?" The driver nodded, like this was exactly the reaction he was expecting, and drove off.

Cox's stomach was still twisting.

* * *

Cox got to Jordan's apartment half an hour later. The driver took off, obviously not wanting to go near Cox's ex-wife. Cox carried his single bag up the stairs to the third floor and went down to the second door on the right.

He could always run away. Like, now. And probably end up back in the loony bin.

Cox opened the door and stepped inside.

The first thing he saw was a bright flash of light, and heard someone yell "surprise!" After his vision returned he saw Jordan's brother--and Cox's best friend--Ben, holding his camera.

"Perry, you don't look happy to see me." Ben said, mock-sad.

"That's cause I can't see you, Ben. That damn camera flash blinded me." Cox said, mock-angry.

"Will you two girls stop it already?" Jordan said, hormonal and actually angry.

"She's mean." Ben said, waving the developing Polaroid. Jordan had bought him a digital camera, one with a weak flash, but Ben refused to use it once he found out that his sisters could go on it and erase his pictures. Now he just stuck with his ancient Polaroid.

"Ooo, that's a good one." Ben said, showing Cox his picture. Cox's eyes were half shut and his mouth was open. Very attractive. Jordan ripped it out of Ben's hand.

"Nice, Per." She said snarkilly. Ben retaliated by taking her picture. Jordan screamed at him and Ben stuck his tongue out before running away.

Cox grinned, tipping his head so they wouldn't see.

* * *

Cox spent his first night at Jordan's place alternately encouraging and breaking up sibling fights. He and Ben both went to sleep with handprint-shaped bruises wherever Jordan could reach. They had to keep reminding her that she couldn't drink, no matter how pissed off she was.

Cox thought he would enjoy it there.

* * *

The next day Cox went with Jordan to satisfy both of their cravings for non-industrial food. Wearing jeans and shoes seemed odd to him, almost uncomfortable, after going so long without. For the first couple of hours, Cox kept tripping over his own feet.

"If you knock me over I will brain you." Jordan told him. Cox growled at her and picked himself up. "Make sure you don't embarrass me." Jordan huffed, then walked off without him. They went to a restaurant where Cox ordered a cheeseburger and the greasiest fries he could get his hands on, savoring unprocessed food.

Jordan ordered a plate of chicken wings. Cox almost couldn't finish his burger, he was too busy remembering that time he tricked a gullible shrink into going to a gay bar for chicken wings.

* * *

Ben moved in with him and Jordan after a week.

"To make sure you two don't kill each other," he said. Jordan rolled her eyes, but didn't say no.

* * *

Cox and Ben were quite possibly the best support system Jordan could've had. They were both crazy, and that made them perfect. Jordan was crazy too.

* * *

After about a month, Jordan was starting to become truly terrifying in a pregnant way. Not that she wasn't scary before, but now Cox was a little afraid of being eaten. Meaning that he and Ben were running most of the household errands; cooking, cleaning, and trying to get Jordan's mother to stop calling for once, they could handle it.

Since Cox and Ben spent so much time on the phone, they developed a new hobby.

Tormenting telemarketers.

* * *

"Hello? Oh, sure, I'd love to buy toner. Do me a favor and hold, 'kay?" Ben set the phone on the counter.

"When do you plan on picking that back up, eh Ben?" Cox asked. Ben shrugged.

"Maybe in an hour or two. It depends." Ben walked away.

* * *

"Talk." Cox said, his new and abrasive way of answering the phone.

"Hello. Is this the Sullivan residence?" Cox grinned. The guy sounded young and nervous. Perfect.

"No, this is the Stan residence." He deadpanned.

"Oh, sorry…" The guy said, and hung up. Five minutes later, the phone rang again. Cox handed it off to Ben.

"Hello?" Ben answered. "Nope, Schmidt residence." He handed the phone back to Cox, who then told the telemarketer that his name was Simpson; then Cox handed it back over to Ben, who had to talk to the guy for ten minutes before finally convincing him that his name was Sweeny.

"Look! I know this is the Sullivan residence and I want to talk to Perry Cox, so just put him on the damn phone!" The guy yelled in his ear. Cox almost said 'never heard of him' and hung up, but the voice was familiar.

"Who wants to talk to Perry Cox?" He asked.

"I'm his old doctor, John Dorian. Ask him." Cox's heart stopped. He put the phone to his chest and held it there for a second, then placed it back near his ear.

"He says he's never heard of you." Cox told Newbie. Ben's eyebrows shot up.

"Oh. Look, he might not want to talk to me but please, I really need to say something. Can you put him on for just one second?" Dorian was almost crying.

"Sorry kid. No can do." Cox said, and hung up. He handed the phone back to Ben and went to take a shower.

The game wasn't quite so fun anymore.

* * *

Newbie started leaving messages that Cox had to delete before Ben or Jordan heard.

* * *

"_Hey Mr. Cox, it's me, Dr. Dorian. You left so suddenly that I-_

"_I just wanted to make sure you're okay. And to let you know that if you need to talk to me, you can call me anytime. Actually, could you call, just so I know you got this? Thanks"_

* * *

"_Hi Mr. Cox. It's Dr. Dorian again. Uh, I really am kinda worried about you, so could you call me back? I'd appreciate it. And on the off chance that this is the wrong number and you don't actually live here, I'm sorry about all the voicemails."_

* * *

"_Mr. Cox? It's me again. You know; JD, Newbie, Carol, Priscilla and all those other names you call me. I need to talk to you, soon. _

"_I'm pregnant._

"_Okay, no I'm not, I'm a man. But that got your attention, didn't it? So please, please, please call me back, okay?"_

* * *

"_Perry, you know who this is. Just, please…_

"_Nevermind. What's the point?"_

_Click._


	7. Chapter 7

Newbie finally showed up a week later.

* * *

Cox had called for take out an hour ago, and if the food didn't get there soon, Jordan was sure to kill someone, most likely him. Which is why Cox was so pissed off when the doorbell rang.

"It's about ti- Newbie?" Dorian stood in the hallway, mouth half open in surprise.

"Uh, hi Mr. Cox." He said.

"Who's that?" Ben asked, craning his neck to get a look from the couch. Cox closed the door and pushed himself into the hallway, backing Newbie up against the far wall.

"What are you doing here, Delores?" Cox hissed.

"You wouldn't answer my calls." Newbie said, his lip quivering, looking like he was going to cry. Using the damn puppy dog look against him.

"So you think you can just show up?"

"I was worried about you." Cox was about to respond, when someone else spoke up.

"Why don't you leave him alone, buddy." Cox turned and there was the delivery boy, with the worst timing known to man. Cox scowled.

"I'm fine," Newbie said. The delivery boy nodded, not taking his eyes off of Cox. He didn't buy it. Newbie walked away, giving Cox another glance over his shoulder.

"Bye." He said.

* * *

"So," Ben asked when Cox came back, arms full of Chinese food. "Who was that?" Cox grunted something that sounded like 'delivery boy'. "Uh, no, the other guy. The one who kept looking at you like he's in love or something." Cox frowned at him.

"Jordan, food's here!" He called, ignoring Ben.

"Finally!" Jordan said, coming out of her room in a robe and slippers, stomach starting to round with her pregnancy. She grabbed the nearest food container to her and a fork, settling down on the couch with the deep-fried goodness she'd been craving.

"Perry's got a boyfriend." Ben announced. Cox nearly dropped his food.

"Really?" Jordan asked, voice mumbled from the food she was eating. "Is it that kid who keeps leaving messages?"

"I think so." Ben said.

"Wait a second here! Just how do you two know about my messages?"

"You're not exactly stealthy." Ben said, eyeing the containers, debating whither food was worth moving off the couch.

"Yeah, and listening to them is entertaining when the only thing on TV is infomercials." Jordan said.

"I am not your personal soap opera."

"Yeah, ya are." Jordan said, munching away.

"C'mon Perry, a past in a mental hospital, unrequited love with your old doctor, all we need is for one of you to get amnesia and then we have the whole deal." Ben said.

"I am not in love with my shrink." Ben raised an eyebrow and Jordan snorted. The Sullivan family way of saying 'yeah, right.'

* * *

Late at night, when Jordan had already gone to sleep and Ben was in his room doing whatever it was Ben did when he was alone, Cox usually watched TV. Late night infomercials were one of his guilty pleasures, even though he never bought any of the products. They gave him something to stare at while his mind wandered.

Of course, that night they kept wandering back to the same subject. Newbie.

Ben and Jordan were so wrong. Who in their right mind, not that those two were in their right minds, would think that he was in love?

"You are, you know." Cox turned around to see Ben leaning on a wall behind him.

"Am what?" Cox asked. Ben must have been in one of his Yoda moods, where he thought he could read minds and gave odd advice.

"In love with your shrink." Okay, maybe Ben could read minds. Cox rolled his eyes. "Oh, then if you're not, why was this under your pillow?" Ben asked, holding up a crumpled envelope, Mr. Cox written in block letters on the front. Cox froze.

"Why did you look under my pillow?" He said, too startled to come up with anything else.

"I had a hunch." Ben shrugged. "Perry, you can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" Ben sat down on the couch next to him.

"Every time you like someone you push them until they can't stand you anymore. Because you don't want to get hurt."

"Ben, I'm crazy, not a girl." Ben only gave him another serious look, and left, leaving Cox alone with his thoughts.

* * *

The next morning, when Cox woke up, he glanced out his window to see if any snow had fallen.

Newbie was sitting on the front steps of the apartment building. Cox blinked, thinking it was a trick of his mind, but no, Dorian was sitting on the steps, bundled up against the cold with a cup of coffee in his hands.

Someone walking by dropped a handful of coins into the coffee cup as they walked by. Cox grinned.

* * *

Newbie was out there almost every time Cox looked out the window, coffee cup in his hands, breath making little smoke like curls in the air. Once that neurosurgeon, Turk if Cox was remembering right, brought him a sub and sat down for a while, but he left before Newbie did. Another time, Ben, on his way home from somewhere, took the kid's picture and handed him a fresh cup of coffee.

"He's waiting down there for you." Ben told him. Cox grunted noncommittally. "I told him that he'd probably be down there a while, 'cause you're a stubborn bastard."

"Yeah?" Cox said.

"He just nodded, and said 'I know'"

* * *

After a week of watching, Cox finally made a decision. Breathing deeply, he grabbed his coat and headed outside.

It was time to talk to JD.


	8. Chapter 8

Cox had no idea what he was about to do. Hopefully he wouldn't fuck everything up.

He walked out of the apartment building, slamming the door behind him. Newbie didn't even turn around. Probably wasn't even expecting him. He could just walk away right now, pretend this whole thing never happened, Dorian would give up eventually.

Cox stepped forward, walking down until his feet were on the same level as Newbie's, and sat down next to him.

"I never answered your question." Cox said. JD turned towards him, and if he was at all surprised to see him, then he didn't let on.

"What question?" Newbie asked.

"How I ended up in the nuthouse." Dorian said nothing. "My, uh" Cox exhaled. This was going to be harder than he thought. He looked away from Newbie, his gaze fixed on a point somewhere in the sky.

"My father was a drunk. I hated him, my god did I hate him. So one day, after I was big enough to fight back, I showed up at his house and beat the shit out of him. I almost killed him, but in the end I just-I just couldn't do it. So the police finally get there and arrest me, and they give me this psycho analysis test, and it turns out I'm crazy." Cox finally looked back at Dorian, who hadn't said anything during his confession.

"But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I read your file." JD said softly. Cox nodded.

He stood up.

"Well," Cox said, "you coming in?" JD grinned.

"Hell yeah." Newbie said. Such a dork.

"One last thing, Sheryl." Cox said, stopping him in his tracks. "This is not a fairytale ending, and we are not walking into the sunset. Understood?" Newbie's grin widened.

"Got it."

"Good." Cox said, aware that no matter what his warnings were, that was likely the scenario playing out in JD's head. And he didn't care.

And if Cox put an arm around JD's shoulders while they walked, it didn't matter. He was still the manlier one.

-FIN-


End file.
